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Dear Friends,

Do I create my own reality?

Did I cause my cancer?

Was my cancer diagnosis just a stroke of bad luck?

Was my cancer a gift? If so, from whom? Where might I return it?

Was cancer a wake-up call?

These are all questions I have been pondering for 31 years. I don’t think it’s possible for me to arrive at definitive answers, but choosing my beliefs about cancer has empowered me to live with it for 31 years.

I need an attitude that empowers me.

If I believe it was just a stroke of bad luck, I have no power to do anything about it.

If I believe I caused it, that could lead to feeling shame and guilt which isn’t useful.

If I believe I influenced the factors that led to my cancer, I can also have an influence over eliminating or managing it. It doesn’t mean it was my fault or that I caused it. I was uneducated about the causes of cancer. I didn’t purposefully do anything that caused my cancer.

Believing I can influence the outcome empowers me. I can do something about it. I can educate myself about the causes of cancer and make changes in my life. Am I in charge of whether cancer is a death sentence or a life sentence? I think only a Power greater than me is in charge of life and death, and I believe I am not a passive bystander. I have influence. If I am crossing the street and a truck is headed toward me, I can get out of the way. If I can’t get out of the way, it was my time to go. Some things happen that we have no control over.

I don’t think cancer is one of those things. There is always something I can do. There are two approaches to dealing with cancer. One is to attack and try to kill the cancer. The other is to strengthen the terrain in which the cancer is growing, and promote the self-healing mechanisms of the body. The only strategies that are legal in California to treat cancer are chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery. They are all focused on attacking the cancer. They don’t acknowledge that I am anything other than a body. It’s like taking my car to a mechanic. Look under the hood, find what’s wrong, and fix it.

I am not just a body. I am a spiritual being on a human path. I am also an emotional being with feelings and thoughts that are connected and constantly interacting with my body. As I learn how cancer can be caused by stress, diet, and lifestyle, there is a lot I can do to alter the terrain in which the cancer is growing. I am empowered.

Was cancer a gift? Certainly didn’t feel like it when it happened. I was devastated, angry, and afraid. I don’t have to believe that cancer was a gift, but I can choose to find gifts in cancer, just as I can choose to find gifts in anything that happens in my life. I think it’s up to me to choose my attitude in every situation; looking for gifts activates feelings of gratitude which in turn promotes healing. It also feels better than burdening myself with anger and fear.

I choose to believe that I am a spiritual being, here for a deeper purpose than what we see around us. Everything that happens to me (including cancer) can be mined for the lessons for my soul. Whether this is true or not, what matters is that this belief empowers and comforts me, and has been supporting me on my healing journey through 31 years of thriving with cancer.

As always, I welcome your comments; to reply please click here.

In the Spirit of Healing,

Jan Adrian, MSW
Founder and Executive Director
www.healingjourneys.org

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• We are excited to offer our third online book group, reading The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness, or Loss, by Sandra Marinella. Sandra and Jan will co-facilitate the group. There will be 6 weekly sessions, starting October 7th at 10 a.m. PDT and running for 6 weeks. If you are interested in participating, please send an email to: jan@healingjourneys.org or click here for More Information.

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