Do I create my own reality?
Did I cause my cancer?
Was my cancer diagnosis just a stroke of bad luck?
Was my cancer a gift? If so, from whom? Where might I return it?
Was cancer a wake-up call?
These are all questions I have been pondering for 31 years. I don’t think it’s possible for me to arrive at definitive answers, but choosing my beliefs about cancer has empowered me to live with it for 31 years.
I need an attitude that empowers me.
If I believe it was just a stroke of bad luck, I have no power to do anything about it.
If I believe I caused it, that could lead to feeling shame and guilt which isn’t useful.
If I believe I influenced the factors that led to my cancer, I can also have an influence over eliminating or managing it. It doesn’t mean it was my fault or that I caused it. I was uneducated about the causes of cancer. I didn’t purposefully do anything that caused my cancer.
Believing I can influence the outcome empowers me. I can do something about it. I can educate myself about the causes of cancer and make changes in my life. Am I in charge of whether cancer is a death sentence or a life sentence? I think only a Power greater than me is in charge of life and death, and I believe I am not a passive bystander. I have influence. If I am crossing the street and a truck is headed toward me, I can get out of the way. If I can’t get out of the way, it was my time to go. Some things happen that we have no control over.
I don’t think cancer is one of those things. There is always something I can do. There are two approaches to dealing with cancer. One is to attack and try to kill the cancer. The other is to strengthen the terrain in which the cancer is growing, and promote the self-healing mechanisms of the body. The only strategies that are legal in California to treat cancer are chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery. They are all focused on attacking the cancer. They don’t acknowledge that I am anything other than a body. It’s like taking my car to a mechanic. Look under the hood, find what’s wrong, and fix it.
I am not just a body. I am a spiritual being on a human path. I am also an emotional being with feelings and thoughts that are connected and constantly interacting with my body. As I learn how cancer can be caused by stress, diet, and lifestyle, there is a lot I can do to alter the terrain in which the cancer is growing. I am empowered.
Was cancer a gift? Certainly didn’t feel like it when it happened. I was devastated, angry, and afraid. I don’t have to believe that cancer was a gift, but I can choose to find gifts in cancer, just as I can choose to find gifts in anything that happens in my life. I think it’s up to me to choose my attitude in every situation; looking for gifts activates feelings of gratitude which in turn promotes healing. It also feels better than burdening myself with anger and fear.
I choose to believe that I am a spiritual being, here for a deeper purpose than what we see around us. Everything that happens to me (including cancer) can be mined for the lessons for my soul. Whether this is true or not, what matters is that this belief empowers and comforts me, and has been supporting me on my healing journey through 31 years of thriving with cancer.
Thank you Jan for your wise words. You truly are an inspiration to so many and I appreciate your insight and understanding in this article.
You are a Light! Shine on.
Blessings ~ Suzanne Grace
So grateful for your words, your sharing of experiences, and your heart wisdom
Jan,
You always inspire me and are such a wonderful example of living with an attitude of empowerment. I too believe there is so much we can control in a situation that seems uncontrollable, from our terrain to our beliefs and so much more. I love the part about cancer and gifts. For me I would say it was not a gift, but I have learned, grown and had experiences I would not have had, had it not been for having cancer. And a lot of them were positive. These are the gifts within having cancer as you talked about. (I like your wording on that)
Wishing you continued enlightenment and empowerment on your life’s journey,
Kristin
Thank you so much for the empowering encouragement to be grateful and make good choices.
Jan — I have read and appreciated your articles/blogs for years. It was so nice to meet you in the writing class. Many thanks for both your articles and the class. This article touches on so many of the elements of survivorship. Keep up the inspiring and deep work.
Beautifully said.
It is wonderful to hear from you and to know that you are thriving victoriously, living with cancer for 31 years!
Hi Jan,
Beautifully said! I think of you often and hope you are doing well in these interesting times. As you mentioned in your newsletter how you have seen the gifts given through your experience with Cancer. The collective consciousness now has been given the opportunity to do the same at this time. Love heals all. May you be blessed with much love, joy and peace…today and everyday!!