I can feel your love and support, and it’s getting harder for me to communicate with you. This blog will be shorter than past ones.  As my cancer progresses, I now have a caregiver with me 24/7. My independence is gone and I am feeling the love of my friends who are willing to walk me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I live upstairs in my bedroom where I have the best view of the dogwood tree that is changing colors out my window, and the full moon that shines in my bedroom window.

It would be easier on my caregivers if I moved into a hospital bed downstairs. It’s an indication of their love for me that they are going up and down the stairs many times a day, instead of forcing me into an even smaller world not of my choosing.

I am still engaged in eating, but much smaller amounts. I still care that the San Francisco Giants aren’t in the playoffs, and I am rooting for whoever is “not the Dodgers.”

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and your caring. I wish I had the energy to call each one of you and have a meaningful conversation, but so far I can’t muster the energy to do that. Talking exhausts me. Silent love is flowing from me to you.

Below is a link to a podcast I did recently with Justin White, son of Terri Tate. Many of you know Terri Tate as a long-time associate and presenter for Healing Journeys.

For about 5 years, Justin had been doing a weekly podcast having open-ended conversations with unique guests. He had taken a break from that, but wanted to do a podcast with me because of my approach to dying.

The tone of the podcast is like eavesdropping on a conversation between friends. So, it’s too long; but he didn’t want to leave anything out. The podcast is broken into sections, with musical breaks in-between, making it easier to listen to sections over time by keeping track of the “time” where you left off, or skipping over parts by fast forwarding. You can listen here:
https://www.ilyapod.com/2025/10/04/jan-adrian-ep-112/

As always, I love hearing from you, so feel free to leave a comment below.