For the first time in 12 years, I used all my vacation time for this year. Traveling in Spain and Morocco for the month of May with Robbie and Carol was so engaging that I didn’t think much about cancer. I had a fantastic time. I saw architectural wonders, learned a lot of history, met wonderful people, ate tapas and drank Spanish wine, and experienced that most Muslims (in Morocco) are gentle, loving, family-oriented people.
Shortly after getting home, I had the surgery that was scheduled before I left. A lymph node under my right arm (metastatic breast cancer) was removed. My oncologist said it had grown from 1.7 cm to 2.5 cm since it had been scanned in February. It was starting to grow out of the lymph node into fatty tissue. The surgeon says she doesn’t use the phrase “clean margins” with lymph nodes. That’s not the news I wanted to hear.
Since it is estrogen positive, my oncologist recommended that I take a hormone treatment. I’ve taken Arimadex before, and had a recurrence while I was taking it. I can’t believe in it. I feel like I need to do something, but Western medicine doesn’t have much to offer. I’m again overwhelmed with the many choices in the world of alternative medicine.
In a guided imagery a friend took me through last week, when I asked a wise woman for advice, she repeated what the minister of my church had recently said in one of his messages – “all solutions are spiritual.” Since the first of the “six treatments” I am following is to deepen my spiritual life, this message is consistent with the beliefs I already have.
I will have a PET/CT scan again mid-August. A scan before that would be useless because the inflammation from the surgery would show up and we wouldn’t know if there was any cancer. I have six weeks to work on this spiritually before I get more hard data. I don’t know yet exactly what that means, but I’m excited to have a direction that feels right.
Later – Since writing the above, I had an appointment with my surgeon and I am so grateful that she gave me a copy of the pathology report. It said the mass that was removed (not the tumor) was 2.5 cm. When that was sliced, the lymph node was measured at 1.1 cm. There was no mention of the size of the tumor. Turns out they didn’t actually measure the tumor. I now know it wasn’t 2.5 cm because what she removed also included some fatty tissue around the tumor. It was starting to grow out of the lymph node, so it was bigger than 1.1 cm, but definitely not as big as the 2.5 cm mass she removed.
This is encouraging and exciting news to me. It means that what I have been doing could have been making a difference. It’s also amazing to me that my oncologist reported it to me as if the tumor had grown by .8 cm. It now seems equally likely that it had gotten smaller. I’ll never know. I only know it was at least 1.1 cm, and smaller than 2.5 cm, compared to 1.7 cm four months ago. And I know I can’t depend on my doctor to see and communicate to me the possibility that anything I am doing that’s not Western medicine could be making a difference in slowing the progression of my cancer.
I am so frustrated by your oncologist’s blatant lack of clear communication about the actual size of your tumor AND what they would remove during the surgery. Who knows what kind of fear drove her to be pessimistic or to obfuscate? Stay on the heartfelt path, because despite it’s proclamations to the contrary, there is little certainty in the world of Western medicine, particularly when we present ourselves as complex human beings rather than simple problems to solve.
I’m so glad that you had a wonderful trip and enjoyed the dual life of the wanderer/seeker. It obviously suits you in all ways.
This seems as if it is good news. I’m thinking of you.
I’d be more than happy to send you information about the little known, but critically important field of science called GlycoBiology. There’s a report from the National Academy of Sciences – Transforming Glycoscience: A Roadmap for the Future that I would be happy to send to you.
You could also watch a Ted Talk with a MD from the Netherlands overviewing this critically important discovery. Hundreds of thousands of people have overcome what you are dealing with – giving our immune systems the critical support it needs – myself included. Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d3CjhEgln0&feature=share
Best wishes, Marion
My two favorite books are Outsmart Your Cancer (Tanya Pierce) and Kill Cancer, Not People (Robert Wright).
You will get all the info you need. I don’t go to my oncologist because as lovely and intelligent as she is part of the medical model which doesn’t ever cure cancer. Read the statistics if you don’t believe me. The two books mentioned above are essential to read. Also, remember that God is the master healer…check out Bruno Groening and Braco.
Hi! I was asked to take the aromatase inhibitor and had such horrible side effects so I stopped about two years ago. I have been building up my body with nutritional therapy and happiness! I’m doing wonderfully well and although I’m grateful the tumor in my breast was removed I’m following my instincts and surrounding myself with healer friends and practitioners. Energy work has been important to me also. Bless you for all the good you are doing for all of us!
Jan,
Many times I’ve read your blog and have been touched by your journey….and this time is no different. You stand tall and strong in the face of your on-going battle with cancer…
Thank you for your determination and courage…it is an inspiration to me as I fight my own non-cancer health challenges (which often seem solitary) and try to navigate between Western intervention and alternative/natural healing which is where my heart and belief are. Energy Healing has been helpful….as well as slowing down and taking one step at a time on my healing journey..
Blessings,
Cecile
Hi Jan After taking 2 sessions of chemo for my Mantle Cell Lymphoma, my petscan had a good report. I was scheduled for 2 more, however on the third session, my lab work showed my white count to be too low to continue. We waited two weeks and the white stayed at a very low rate. She explained to me that we could not continue the chemo because my bone marrow function was very tired. She asked me to see her in 4 months with no referral or recommendations. When I asked her if she could give me a group of supplements and/or food choices that might enhance the growth of new cells she said that she didn’t know. Again it never ceases to amaze me about Western Medicine. I will be talking to Jeanne Wallace tomorrow and had planned to do that all along. Guess I was hoping that just one time a medical doctor would have something to offer besides chemotherapy. Good speaking to you and touching base. Thanks for all you have done for all of the many women who crossed your path my friend. Blessings, Dottie
Hi Jan,
I am so touched and inspired by you. I know how difficult it is to be dealing with all of this conflicting information. My heart reaches out to you. You know I know the feeling. But I am also so encouraged by your commitment to approach this from a spiritual point of view. That takes courage. Tapping into something “invisible” to treat something so concrete as a cancerous tumor is enormously brave. Like I said, I am so inspired, intrigued and impressed by you, Jan.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us who look to you for how to deal with difficult challenges with grace and hope.
-Cathy
Jan, I’m SO GLAD you checked your path report! It’s so important to take our health into our own hands and not let other people scare us prematurely. Your posts from Morocco and ever since then have exuded calm and serenity — I hope you continue to embrace this new trend of using all of your vacation days and following what is best for you in this moment. I’m thinking of you and sending lots of healing energy your way!
Best,
Kelly
Blessigns (I’m going to leave that typo as it is. I read the signs in your last blog as blessings, tho sometimes in disguise)
I encourage you to do as you are…. with faith, hope, and love.
I remember a time I was told I had 3 weeks to get my immune system working otherwise I was not a candidate for the melanoma vaccine. Melissa Horton, our friend the hypnotherapist, and I got it active in time! Prayer, love, and my own imagery were the main ingredients to my way of thinking.
You must continue to do what you are doing- believing in your inner voice and putting yourself FIRST above ALL else. I am 11 years out from my breast cancer-when I finished all of my treatments/protocol I returned to teaching at only 50% instead of the 100% I had been doing prior. After 5 years at 50% I went down to 20% and have been teaching at 20% and the other days of the week(the other 4 days) I teach Laughter Yoga . I love what I do! I classify myself as a Laughter Therapist-you must do what you are passionate about and believe you are worthy! It sounds like you are turning the wheel in your favor. You go Jan-you are loved. Teena