On Friday I had the cryoablation. The day before, I received a phone call from a sound healer who had done a short demonstration of sound healing with me last week. She said she needed to share with me some information she had “received” during that short session. She said all the sound had gone to the area of my right breast and was breaking up something crystalline and hard there. (My tumor was in my right lung.) She said she heard the words “no more cancer” — that cancer had been a part of my path and I was finished with it now. This was profound information for me to hear, especially considering that she didn’t know me or anything about my story.
The cryoablation went amazingly well. I was there for 7 hours, but the actual procedure was only 1 ½ hours. They used a CT scanner to guide them in putting the probe through my back, into my lung, and into the tumor. The interventional radiologist said it was about the same size as in the last CT scan, just under 2 cm. He got into it easily and froze it. I wasn’t put to sleep, but I had Versed, which made it almost fun. None of the possible complications happened.
I was instructed that I shouldn’t be alone for 24 hours, so my friends, Carol and Kerry, took turns staying with me. I have a little puncture in my back where they went in and it’s a little sore, but I didn’t have the pain pill prescription filled because I haven’t needed it.
I heard from so many people in the last week, sending your love and prayers, that I am feeling incredibly blessed. I felt enveloped in love on Friday and knew that it was all rigged in my favor. Actually I’m still feeling that way today. Thank you so much for your love and support. You are the wind beneath my wings.
This feels like a transformational time for me. I’ve been thinking of how often something good, like a graduation for example, can be experienced as a loss and bring up sadness because you are losing a goal. I’ve been focused for so long on dealing with cancer, and now I might be graduating.
I’m feeling tearful and sad and I think it’s a good thing. In Marianne Williamson’s talk at the Sacramento conference she talked about loving one’s tumor because it’s the soul crying out for love. So I’ve been doing that — holding her in my arms and loving her. Cancer has been a part of me for 23 years. Even though I believe it’s time for it to go, I feel some sadness. I’m ready to say good-bye, and I think saying goodbye is a necessary part of moving on to whatever the next part of my path is. I’m thinking I will ritualize this transition with a good-bye ceremony (like a funeral) for her. I want to be ready for what is next.
Jan, I am so deeply, to the bone, happy to read this
blog of what happened Friday and where you are with it.
I am still excited thinking of you out of the office, and even
Sacramento, going about your “work” in warm natural settings
immersed in communities that come together to cross a threshold and stay (long enough) to integrate that experience and get their bearings in the new landscape. Your vision for Healing Journeys in your last post.
Meanwhile, waving, sending love,
Dee
Portland, Oregon
May the next, hopefully cancer-free, part of your life bring new purpose, more joyful adventures, and release from the stress of chronic cancer.
All the best for your health and happiness.
Wendy
Jan: What a deeply touching story of your journey. Not knowing what the future will bring us or where the future will unfold comes with its own kind of blessing.
Your work to date has been amazing and the future is bound to unfold in amazing ways beyond your wildest dreams.
Thank you so much for sharing your story as it continues to unfold and ease of being.
Dear Jan,
The miracles of life never cease to amaze me!!! How our journey can lead us on the most amazing, crazy ride where anything is possible. You touch so many lives with your story and that, I believe is how we heal ourselves and the world. God bless on your path and your return to wholeness. All is well!!!
Namaste
Patricia Bateson
Hope your path is smooth, and I heard today we have to heal and have an ending, so we can have a new beginning!
I get results tomorrow of a biopsy done a week and a half ago re: hot spot on T-9 vertebrae. I am hoping for the best!
Even though I still have cancer, I have pondered the ‘beyond cancer’ and can imagine the unexpected sadness. The required emptying and resolution to allow the next step. May your next journey be as magnificent as your previous.
Oh, Jan, I’m thrilled for you. What great good news. I have yet another thing for which to be grateful on Thursday!
Much love and hugs,
Debra
Thank you for sharing your story. It is so up-lifting. Welcome to the next part of your journey without cancer.
Love to you,
Ruth
Jan,
You and your story demonstrate the power of LOVE. First your love for all those afflicted with cancer and how you put together amazing programs and classes to assist them. Now you have demonstrated the power of self love to establish health and harmony in our bodies. You memorialize your organizations mission, Cancer as a Turning Point. Remembering we are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience demonstrates that healing of the Spirit always occurs whatever the physical outcome.
This Thanksgiving we all express our thanks to you and Healing Journeys.